It's just a little over an hour away from being one month ago that Tom took his last breath. I don't know how I feel about that. I'm still in denial...shock.
I went to my first of a 6-week grief support group tonight. It was well worth it and I look forward to figuring out this journey over the next 6-weeks. I know it will take longer than just 6-weeks to get through this, it will probably take the rest of my entire life, but at least I am confident that this is the right direction to go in the grief and coping process.
I'll probably stay up until the time of 11:51pm. That was the time on Feb 14th after Tom took his last breath. Yes, I know the obit date and, in fact, the legal date is 12:45am on Feb 15th, and that is because it isn't legal until the hospice nurse arrives to call the official T.O.D. Every year, it is going to be a struggle for me between the 14th and 15th. I know this already.
I do have Tom's remains home now, in his forever urn. It is so beautiful and was machined by a close friend. It's 304 stainless steel, brushed finish, with Tom's name, dates, an eagle and Isaiah 40:31 engraved on it. I will try to take a good picture and post it sometime. I plan to keep him home with me for a long time. To some people it creeps them out, but it does not to me, not at all. I love looking at the urn and giving him a good night kiss. Our family pic in an 8x10 stands on the shelf next to it, along with one of Tom's favorite eagle head statues.
Well, that is about all I feel like sharing tonight. Thanks for listening, and thank you so much for keeping Nathan, myself and our family in your thoughts and prayers.
4 comments:
I just wanted to tell you that your strength is awe inspiring.
Take it one moment at a time and no date can recollect Tom's last moments like you can. I am in awe of your devotion and strength and inspired by the grace so evident in your life. REmmeber tonight that Jesus adores you! He knows the ache in your heart and the emptiness in your life... I pray that the Great Comforter, Holy Spirit, would wrap His arms around you tonight. I pray that you feel the love, peace, and joy that can only come supernaturally from a Father that loves you and is with you. I found you through love bomb and am grateful to have been able to speak what I believe is the FAther's heart ot you tonight. He is with you, He loves you, He knows, and He will give you the grace to come through this. Love in Chirst, sister... Dawna from Texas <3
Keep your faith close during this time. When you feel like there no nothing left remember about that beautiful child of yours and how much he will always be a reminder of how special your husband was. Take care and know that you have support from people around the world that will always be here for you.
Nathan is an ANGEL! What a beautiful baby boy! Thank you for sharing your story. You said in your previous blog that you find it inspiring if you can inspire just one person... well know that I am one (probably one of many) that feels inspired even more know in raising awareness about melanoma. Thank you.
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